Looking to add a little order in the court of love?
If you’re crushing on a law student, trying to charm a legal professional, or just want to drop a witty line for fun, lawyer pick up lines are the perfect way to break the ice.
Clever, funny, and packed with courtroom puns, these lines will help you make your case in style.
From playful one-liners to flirty legal humor, this list has everything you need to win someone’s heart—with or without an objection.
Let’s dive in!
Funny Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- You must be a precedent because you set the standard for beauty.
- Are you a statute? Because you’ve got me bound.
- You’re guilty… of stealing my heart.
- Are you a tort? Because you’re causing me serious emotional appeal.
- You must be evidence, because you’re undeniable.
- Are you a judge? Because you just sentenced me to love at first sight.
- I object to anyone else having your number.
- Are you a contract? Because I’m ready to sign my life away.
- You must be a jury, because you’ve got me deliberating all night.
- I must be under oath, because I can’t lie about how much I like you.
- Are you a closing argument? Because you’ve sealed the deal.
- I rest my case… you’re perfect.
- You must be habeas corpus, because you’ve got my heart detained.
- Are you negligence? Because I can’t overlook you.
- You’re like common law… inevitable and binding.
- My love for you is like a subpoena—it demands your presence.
- Are you due diligence? Because you make me look twice.
- I want to be your brief… concise and always by your side.
- I’m appealing, but not as much as you.
- You must be discovery, because you’ve revealed a whole new world to me.
- Let’s not litigate—let’s date.
- You make my heart sustain every objection.
- Are you a case file? Because I can’t stop reviewing you.
Flirty Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- Can I be your counsel in matters of love?
- Your smile is stronger than any legal defense.
- Are you a binding precedent? Because my future depends on you.
- You’ve got me pleading for your attention.
- Forget the statute of limitations—I’ll never run out of time for you.
- My opening statement: you’re gorgeous.
- You’re the verdict I’ve been waiting for.
- Call me a witness, because I can testify to your beauty.
- If loving you is illegal, I’ll gladly serve the sentence.
- Can I file a motion… to make you mine?
- You’re my favorable ruling in the court of love.
- I want to take you out for drinks—strictly pro bono.
- Are you an appeal? Because you’ve got my interest all over again.
- Your charm should be criminal.
- Are you a statute? Because you define perfection.
- I’d love to cross-examine your heart.
- Let’s draft a love contract.
- You’re the law, and I’m ready to obey.
- My heart objects when you walk away.
- Let’s make our relationship legally binding.
- Are you the Constitution? Because you’re supreme.
- You’ve got me hung—like a jury.
- You’re evidence that love is real.
Clever Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- Are you litigation? Because I’m ready for a long-term case with you.
- You must be an affidavit, because I swear you’re amazing.
- Are you a deposition? Because I could listen to you all day.
- You’re like a well-written brief—concise yet captivating.
- You’ve subpoenaed my heart.
- Call me precedent, because I want to set the tone for your love life.
- You’re my winning argument.
- Are you arbitration? Because you settle my chaos.
- I’d never file for dismissal if you’re involved.
- Are you the truth? Because the whole court stands for you.
- You’re admissible as the love of my life.
- You’re my motion to continue—because I want more time with you.
- Are you a merger clause? Because you complete my agreement.
- Without you, my life is out of jurisdiction.
- You’re like case law—impossible to ignore.
- My love for you has no objections.
- Are you a verdict? Because you’ve got the final say in my heart.
- You’re my legal remedy for loneliness.
- Let’s form a partnership, strictly limited to two.
- Are you admissible evidence? Because I can’t deny you.
- You’re like precedent—you define my future decisions.
- Call me the defense, because I’ll always protect your heart.
- You’re my settlement offer—I can’t refuse.
Cute Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- You brief up my day.
- My heart finds you case-ually adorable.
- You’re the ruling I’ll always accept.
- Are you a love contract? Because I want to sign forever.
- You’re like a closing statement—short, sweet, and unforgettable.
- I’d argue all day just to win your smile.
- You make my heart motion uncontrollably.
- You’re more comforting than attorney-client privilege.
- You’re the verdict to my loneliness.
- Your love is my strongest precedent.
- You’re cuter than any exhibit in evidence.
- You’re my fair trial for happiness.
- Are you my co-counsel? Because I need you by my side.
- You’re like discovery—I find something new about you every day.
- You’re my pro bono happiness.
- Are you the law library? Because I’m lost in you.
- You brief but you shine bright.
- My case for love starts and ends with you.
- You’re my statute of happiness.
- You’ve got me hung up like a jury.
- You’re more binding than precedent.
- You’re my favorable ruling every day.
- You’re sweeter than any closing argument.
Romantic Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- I’ll argue forever just to keep you.
- You’re the only verdict that matters in my life.
- Let’s make this relationship a joint venture.
- My heart is your jurisdiction.
- You’re the settlement I’ve been hoping for.
- Our love has no statute of limitations.
- You’re the final judgment I’ll never appeal.
- With you, every day is a winning case.
- You’re my legal remedy for a broken heart.
- Let’s draft the perfect love agreement.
- You’ve got full custody of my heart.
- You’re my habeas corpus—you’ve freed my soul.
- Without you, my life is dismissed.
- You’re the only ruling I’ll never challenge.
- You’re my legal tender—priceless and irreplaceable.
- Let’s settle this out of court—over dinner.
- You’re my strongest argument for love.
- With you, I’ll never plead the fifth.
- You’re the binding law in my heart.
- I’d appeal for your love any day.
- You’re the one precedent I’ll never forget.
- Our love is constitutional—forever protected.
- You’re the verdict of my happiness.
Cheesy Lawyer Pick Up Lines
- Are you malpractice? Because I can’t handle losing you.
- You’ve subpoenaed my soul.
- Are you a legal brief? Because you’re short, sweet, and powerful.
- You’re the fine print I’ll always read.
- My heart is a courtroom—and you’re the star witness.
- You must be small claims, because you’re a big deal to me.
- You’ve got me case-ually obsessed.
- Are you the bill of rights? Because you give me freedom to love.
- You’re my plea bargain—because you’re too good to pass up.
- Without you, my heart is in contempt.
- You’re my closing argument for happiness.
- Are you a case citation? Because I reference you all the time.
- You’re like a writ—you command my attention.
- I’d never settle for anyone else.
- You’re my deposition of joy.
- My love for you is admissible in every court.
- You’re my ruling passion.
- Are you legal tender? Because I can’t put a price on you.
- You’ve got me in the court of love.
- You’re like a statute—you define everything.
- You’re my strongest precedent of happiness.
- My appeal is all for you.
- You’re the law book I can’t put down.
Best Lawyer Pick Up Lines for Instagram
- Love without you would be a mistrial.
- Just call me your counsel of love.
- You’re the evidence of happiness in my life.
- Every objection overruled when it comes to you.
- My heart is guilty—of loving you.
- I plead guilty to crushing on you.
- You’re my favorable ruling every time.
- Love is my case, and you’re the winning argument.
- You’re the precedent of my future.
- Our love is beyond reasonable doubt.
- You’re the exhibit A of my heart.
- My caption is sustained by your smile.
- You’re my jury of happiness.
- With you, there’s no objection—just affection.
- My heart is forever bound to yours.
- You’re the ruling that defines my life.
- Case closed—you’re mine.
- You’re my sustained objection to loneliness.
- My verdict: forever with you.
- You’re the brief I’ll never forget.
- The law of attraction brought me to you.
- You’re the judgment I’ll never appeal.
- You’re my contract for love.
Conclusion
And there you have it—over 470 lawyer pick up lines that are clever, funny, romantic, and absolutely perfect for breaking the ice.
If you’re texting a crush, updating your Instagram caption, or just want a witty one-liner, these legal puns will make sure your charm is always sustained.
Choose your favorite, deliver it with confidence, and let the sparks fly—case closed!
